Feeling like an outside came easy to me. This idea of fitting in, conforming, feeling internally shunned, like I was on the outside of a circle.
Being a second generation British Asian split me in two. Pulled my my culture, and then pushed by my environment. All the time seeking my own voice, my own truth.
I first came across Janis Joplin through the song Summertime. I stumbled across it and was captivated. I'd encountered a kindred, and that I was hearing truth
How could someone human capture such a sense of hope though pain, heart and soul? I heard little aspects about her life, but I didn't want the person to break the spell of the art. Yes, I know they're entwined but I was having a love affair with a song you see.
My Brother - In - Lawcame up to me at a party a few days ago and he waxed lyrical about the documentary Little Girl Blue .
So I took the pick axe and was ready.
Who was this woman? What was her life? Janis found a way to align her values with her life her sister says. At a time when women were second class citizens.
Despite what must have been horrendous bullying at school, drug abuse and crippling loneliness she managed to stay uncompromising to her art. Despite being torn apart by a culture that didn't get her she maintained her truth, and I found that very humbling. This is what made her so great in my eyes.
How many people do you know that actually keep it real? I do my best, but I do struggle with a need to people please, balance cultures, hear my own voice and honor my needs.
I feel that I am getting better with time and practice. For times I need that boost, I'll stick on my playlist and remind myself what truth sound like. That or a little meditation.... x